How do you do it?

How do you say goodbye to someone when it still hasnt sunken in that they really are gone?!

I can say it in my mind: “Rodrigo is dead” – but I can’t process it. I will never see him, talk to him, laugh with him again?

I’m in a state of disbelief. I’m thinking I’ll get a txt from him soon “lol, just kidding!” but I won’t.

I’m terrified about the funeral. Sometimes at funerals I start crying and sobbing really hysterically, and it’s embarrassing. It sounds so vain, yes, but it draws attention and that is the last thing I want. A funeral service is about remembering the persons life, and the good times. I know it’s also for grieving, but I just don’t want to seem like some pretentious git making a big scene.

I wish Rod was here. He’d make some big joke out of it, and we’d have a great laugh.

In other, far less morbid news, summer school starts tomorrow. I’ve been focussing on this a lot. Summer school is a bright, happy prospect.

Sure, so I’ll be studying maths intensively for the next 6 weeks, but it’s something constructive to do with my time. I’ll be out of the house, I’ll be working towards my degree!

I’m going to try working on my website over the next few weeks. I’ll be reopening hosting (nearly anything considered – leave a comment if you’re interested), and working on making my own theme for word press! I’m considering downloading some themes to look at how they work (remember I’m still in the stone age when it comes to this website thing these days).

Anyhow, I best shower and make myself presentable for farewelling a friend.